Starting HERE.

my first SUB STACK post ( :

 It’s August 2024, and all five of my kids are finally in school! I’m sitting in a loft that used to be a business but has turned into our living space since we lost our home in the Maui fires a year ago.  

I’m planted in a donated chair we pulled out of a shipping container. Honestly? I have grown to love it. It’s big and comfy, and I tossed a towel over the upholstery, plus a pareo and two throw pillows—voilà! She’s perfect.  

As I sit here, I’m struck by how little we have and yet how much we’ve gained at the same time. I thought about sharing something really deep today so I popped in my AirPods to play some “writing music”—maybe it’ll help me choose ONE of the million posts swirling in my head today. But no, Spirit just said, “Start HERE.” And hey, no one’s even reading… yet!  SO i listened and am just starting Here, in this moment in time, on this big chair, doing this THING.

Back in my old home, I had an office room, which I later gave to my oldest, then I created in a picture-perfect office space in my bedroom which brings me to today. That office gone, bedroom gone, house gone, Town gone and after all the tears we are HERE.

I smile because this simple first post is being written from this little loft that we now rent, sitting in this donated chair and a TV dinner stand while I peek out the windows—no screens and think, I love this redo. and while I’m not going in deep today, knowing what it has taken just to be In this MOMENT, It is everything.

People I run into always ask me, “So have you decided to REBUILD"?

this is it. This is Me, doing exactly that. rebuilding myself, my life, my business, my home and here is where I will share pieces of that

It really feels like a full circle moment, that the big life my husband I had built over 20 years together, the great businesses, the audience, the whatever we had built began with moments just like this. No one even here yet. unsure where this is even going but feeling the pull and leaning ALL the way in with One foot in front of the other. Ive been here before, and I am grateful this time to be here again.

We really don’t give ourselves enough credit for all the amazing things we have done and for sure not for the simple and sacred things we create from our heart that is urges us to JUST GO.

I’ve been aching to have this moment again. I thought I would never feel it again. I’ve been in and out, but mostly IN a cave this past year. Trauma? Yep. Surviving? yup. Depressed?often. Lost? Definitely. and then somehow over time, you begin to participate again. You begin to move forward and as I’ve been focused on getting my family back to safety and sanity—and I have also been working on MYSELF and using writing as a way to alchemize it all.

I have found writing to be so nourishing in this season and so full of codes that i was praying for a place that could hold my depth where I felt I could rebuild a community. (ig just isnt that for me anymore- more on that another time) I want to connect in long form content. I dont mind quick surface conversations and posts, their fun and entertaining but my soul was just asking for a reset in this part of my life and work. Our lives have changed so much. and I have just being desiring a new way or new place to express this. Then I found myself here. Yup, This is gonna be the spot.

The other day, while driving, I couldn’t help but think about how many times I’ve said, “Oh, I’ve found MY THING!” as if it’s supposed to be the one magical answer when really, finding the THING just means discovering A thing. For me, there have been so many things that captured my focus over different seasons. As someone who’s happily in what I like to call my “AUNTY ERA,” I’ll tell you, everything has its season and guides you to the next thing—especially if you’re a visionary. If you are, your dreams are just directions, not destinations, even when you reach them!  

I’ve been a professional entertainer, taught fitness, ran a hair and makeup biz, coached in finance, ventured into online wellness business , and killed it in network marketing… all these THINGS built on relationships really,  led me to coaching, podcasting, and mentoring, and then, as LIFE gently nudged me toward a new path within the healing arts for the last few Years, Writing and Podcasting are my creative outlets as well as the places I desire to connect and serve. 

And today instead of focusing on branding and keywords and yada yada I just decided to start HERE, by taking a moment of gratitude for this simple moment of being able to Start over and begin again. I have this saying that I love so much, I can’t remember where I heard it probably in one of the endless years of Personal Development I had done lol but it is simple, NO ONE skips Kindergarten. 

And as an aspiring writer, today feels like orientation. Day 1. Saying Goodbye to the way things should be done, and just doing ME. In my own space, carving my own way, AGAIN and just stoked because I can wait no longer to share what feels like LIFETIMES coming to a peak, yet slowly & in the simplest way, from my cozy loft in my new life, sharing my new THING. 

Thank you for allowing me to share. xx U’ilani 

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